If Shakespeare Were Alive Today

R not Julia the Ruby of the realm?
Go hither and think not upon Ada,
Whose Basic baseness is not worthy a Boo,
C to it sharply and bring Clojure Forth,
Dart away now to her awaiting arms,
As her love for you awaits in the Eiffel tower of her heart,
Like an Elixir to her suffering,
Be not a Hack, a Python in the weeds, but be instead Groovy,
Woo her with Java,
Be Lithe, speak Lucid and without a Lisp,
Utter not a bovine Moo from thy lips,
Instead may an Opal be upon thy tongue,
Your Prolog Swift,
Your Smalltalk small,
Scheme little, for honesty is the Unicorn
upon which no Rust will form.

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